Showing posts from October, 2011

Blue skies

It would be nice sometimes,
To escape to a place,
Where no one talked, no one looked.
Where I could sit by myself,
And feel just good to be alive,
Not pretty, not ugly.
Nor right and neither wrong,
Just alive.

It would be nice sometimes,
To run to a world,
Where no one knows where they are going,
And where no one cares.

Everyone sits, just in the moment.
No one looks your way.
They just smile to themselves,
Happy in their own worlds.

Where there are only blue skies,
And no grey clouds.

Venting out

The last post was rather written while I was in a fury.. One of those days when you are not feeling not so good about yourself, and you have your loved ones telling you to change this and change that. Now that I have cooled down, I feel I might have been a little harsh.  Of course our loved ones would want us to be the best versions of ourselves. We disagree on so many things, and yet we find many more which brings us together as one.  The one I probably have the most fights with is my mother. Most days I feel like we are not even in one book, forget the same page. We disagree on almost everything and fight like little children. But at the end of the day, all I want to do is hug her and protect her from all that she goes through in life. 
True I am wrong most of the times, I probably should make a little more effort to look less shabby. I am a grown up now and should act more my age. I should speak correctly so that I am better understood. I agree to all that. It's just that some…

Just let me be.

A lot is going on in my head right now, and the last thing I would want happening to me is to be told I don't speak with the right accent. That is just like a trigger that sets off the bullet of pent up anger. Correct me if I am wrong, but isn't the way we speak, our accent defined by the place and people we grew up with as a child. It's part of the habits and characteristics that make us who we are, and this is what I truly believe.

How then do people expect me to suddenly switch on the 'Turn english accent on button' and begin to speak like an Englishman.

What I find truly offensive is being told I do not speak like I should, and should 'try' speak with a more English accent since I have been here for four years. The only retort that comes to my mind then is 'Leave me alone!'. Do I not get that much freedom in my life that I can speak the way I want to? Do I lack in my already high levels of shyness that you must point more things to make me feel …


(His)story was the way Miss Ghidiyal, our Class 7 teacher described what History was about. And isn't it so, History is essentially the story of Man. 'His story'. Of the rise and fall of civilizations. While most people shudder at the very thought of submerging themselves in this 'useless' subject, I find it a treat.. To read about the trials and tribulations of man. To read about conquests, narcissistic rulers and their wily advisers, backstabbings, assassinations and murder plots.. And to connect these with monuments and structures the ruins of which you can actually see!! It's very hard for me to really understand why anyone would hate such a dramatic subject..
Anyway, the reason I reminisce about my love affair with this wonderful subject is because of one of the course modules I am currently studying for my Masters. It is vaguely titled 'Government and Politics of Modern South Asia'.. The reason I chose this particular module from the options offe…

Contacts for contact's sake.

As we walk on in this path of life, we meet an assorted bunch of people.. Some, so focused in life. They can almost draw you a map of their lives.. They have everything so well figured out. And then you meet some who almost have a question mark drawn on their faces. Who are questioning themselves about their worth and purpose in life..

I always had a desire to belong to the first group. I always wanted it all planned out, the milestones of my journey marked.. I make pit stops and then I complete certain laps within a certain period of life. It sounded like such an organised way of life, like how life is meant to be..

But then as days go by, I realize no matter how hard I try to fit in with the first group, I am always to my very soul, going to be category two. I will always be the kind who goes to the cake shop wanting a truffle cake, but on reaching the place, decide I either want black forest or pineapple or sometimes none. I always thought of this to be a bad thing.. I mean, aren&…


Today, I am just going to post a picture, taken in Jaisalmer this September. Went there while waiting around for my Tier 4 visa (if any of you have had to get one of those, you would know how it is so like waiting to win a lottery.. The chances so minimal, and yet souls so hopeful)..

If you ever have wanted to be transported back in time, back in the days of ancient towns with the imposing forts and narrow streets, Jaisalmer should be the next destination on your journey ticket.

The contrasts of the blue skies, orange and yellow havelis and the colourful attires of the locals just add to the mesmerizing effect of Jaisalmer..

I am back.

Jumping from Environmental Management into Development Studies would be a long jump for me, I knew.. But how big of a jump is what I gravely underestimated or overestimated depending on which perspective I see it from..

Let me explain. Three years of Environmental Studies taught me a thing or two about how interrelated environment and development was.. The environmental side of the matter, I managed to probe for three whole years, grappling with big shot words such as ecological modernization and sustainable development.
These years were more about learning from practical experience and knowledge, about field trips and actual first hand experiences.

Now that I am on the other side, the journey of which has only begun these last few weeks, it's rather a long journey of flipping through pages of pages of development books. Of theories and how each of these development theories basically fail to sum up life or the question of growth. Maybe it is the modules I have chosen, but what I …

New city..

There is always a slight apprehension in moving into a new city. Much more if it is a gigantic city called London.
I thought having spent three years in Manchester, settling in would be a 'cuppatea'. On a superficial level, London and Manchester seem so alike- the same take away shops round every neighbourhood, the double decker buses, the black cabs, similar looking buildings.

But adjusting into a new place and adapting to its character is more of an internal challenge. London is too huge to be taken on a single platter. There is the need to get used to the oceans of people that flood the roads and carry you along in the tide, there is the complicated public transport system.. Moreover London as I mentioned before is just huge.. I am yet to explore the many corners.. the famous places such as Notting Hill, Soho, Brick Lane, Southall.. I am yet to immerse myself in its fabric, to bond with the population who has made this city their home for a year or two like me.. Yet to try …