Just let me be.

A lot is going on in my head right now, and the last thing I would want happening to me is to be told I don't speak with the right accent. That is just like a trigger that sets off the bullet of pent up anger. Correct me if I am wrong, but isn't the way we speak, our accent defined by the place and people we grew up with as a child. It's part of the habits and characteristics that make us who we are, and this is what I truly believe.

How then do people expect me to suddenly switch on the 'Turn english accent on button' and begin to speak like an Englishman.

What I find truly offensive is being told I do not speak like I should, and should 'try' speak with a more English accent since I have been here for four years. The only retort that comes to my mind then is 'Leave me alone!'. Do I not get that much freedom in my life that I can speak the way I want to? Do I lack in my already high levels of shyness that you must point more things to make me feel insecure about who I am?
Must I now start copying the way others talk to make myself look 'presentable'?
My accent is what I grew up, the way I am.. Should I then get cosmetic surgeries done, liposuction and what not and become just another 'Perfect barbie doll'.

Does it not hurt me when I have people around me constantly telling me this is wrong and this is right? Am I not old enough to decide for myself the things I want to do and the things I do not.

I am not happy with the way I speak too. And the more you point it out, the more insecure I become. I am already reaching levels where conversations make me so conscious. I am becoming someone I do not want to be. Let me rejoice in the person I am, let me be. Let me learn to appreciate who I am. Let me learn to stop self evaluating.. and this does not begin until you stop pointing your fingers at me, telling me I am wrong.

I would like to live with myself the way I am. The clothes you say arent girly enough, the face you say needs to be more painted up, the accent you wonder if people can understand.. Well, all I have to say in return is- I am sorry I could not be more of who you wanted me to be. But please, just let me be.



Comments

  1. I like your writing but it's too hard to read... can you please change the font?

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

New lows

Chirps

tragic