By choice

We are shaped by the choices we make.. But doesn't it scare you sometimes, for there is a very thin line between the right and the wrong ones.. 

Here I am, studying Environmental Management, in my third year, a choice shaped mostly by last minute confusion. Don't get me wrong, Environmental Education was one of my favourite subjects in school (after History, that is) and I had hoped even then that I would somehow get a chance to study further in the field..  

But even my sudden interest in Environmental studies was a chance happening, that sprung out of pure distaste for pure science (The school offered us a choice between science and environmental science in class 8). I remember sitting in a empty classroom one day and writing a very determined letter to my parents explaining why I had to do environmental studies. They had framed a road map for me way back and it involved studying Science and then studying Commerce for my Class 12(both of which never happened).. The Class 12 choice of studying Arts was really not that difficult to convince on myself, History was one subject I was truly passionate about, the one subject I loved to study, and I hated Mathematics ( I did end up still studying it nevertheless for my Class 12) and calculations putting Commerce out of the way.

Choices when unsure can easily be crumbled by a huff and puff of the wind, and one can be left standing at a crossroad all over again. One such case was the descending of Anita Dass, a career counsellor into our school. She conducted all these career tests and crumbled to the ground the dream of my parents of me studying Commerce and shook the idea of getting into IIM and what not.. My father understandably hated her.. But she was quite inspirational to me, for she instilled in me this idea that the choice of subjects and career should be ours alone, for it is not our parents who would ultimately have to do all the hard work and studying. 

It is also not just our choices, but the choices made by others close to us that shape our lives. For example, the choice my dad made to work far from home just so I could get a 'world class education' in the UK. Had he not made this choice, I would probably be in Delhi University doing an Honours in History.  

Looking back, I look at all these choices, they brought me here.. Have these choices strengthened by convictions, I am not sure. Do I regret some of the choices I made, to an extent. I am human, we have in us this desire to want to turn back time and change certain things...
But we are human, we have learned to learn from mistakes and walk on. Hold our head high, and learn to believe in our choices long after they have been made. If that becomes hard to do, introduce the idea of 'fate' or 'destiny' and credit choices to them. 

Do so till we fully learn that we are masters of our fate, and we can make our own destiny. Do so till we can stand on our two feet and walk towards what we want.. To make the choices we truly desire..


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