Let down

The worst feeling in the world? I googled it, curious to know what the answer to that might be. And found a pretty reasonable answer- 'The loss of people you love. Those that make each day worth waking and greet you with a smile. Not to ever have that again is the worst feeling in the world'. I would have agreed to this whole heartedly had I not experienced the real worst feeling in the world.

Maybe it is because I have not fully matured yet, but I like to think everyone is perfect- my friends, my family, my close ones. I know it is not true, and yet I choose to believe in it. And when these very people I let into my heart makes even a small mistake, it kills me from the inside.

I must learn from the past I know. Not to let people in so easily, and not to take everything to heart. Not to mind that people put their interests in front of mine with matters relating to my own life. Not to care that some do not consider me as dear to them as I consider them dear to me. Not to envy those who have people who truly understand them.

But I am human, I have wants, I have needs. I am not easily satisfied. And I care. I think.
And each time I do so, it kills me from the inside. Each time.


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