In dodo's head

tran·scend tran(t)ˈsend/ verb past tense:  transcended ; past participle:  transcended be or go beyond the range or limits of (something abstract, typically a conceptual field or division). As time tick tocks, and the dusk of my time to pick and choose a career slowly appears on the horizon, 'well wishers (who knows if they are really well wishers..) come, ringing bells of alarm; 'make her give the UPSC, make her give the MPSC' they say, in concerned voices.. And then my mother, BemWeary, replies with a sigh, and then attaches a verb to me, that seems to explain it all- Oh I don't know, she is really transcended.. After having heard it for half a decade or so, it is one of those verbs I would use to describe myself if anybody asked me to do so..  It's hard to really understand how I got to this state of transcendence.. Was it after years and years of living in denial; does it stem from my immune system trying to quell the simmering pan...

The pitter patter of raindrops falling onto the ground, A lullaby for the sleepy. Outside, paddy fields have transformed, Into endless lakes of blue. Storms rage on every night, Flashes of light and thunder, Sending my heart into a flutter. April April, won't you end fast, And put an end to my misery.

The Start of Something new, Always an endless trail of new discoveries, A 'Really!' and a 'You too?'. Years on, the novelty fades. And what binds us will be familiarity, A comradeship born out of our shared experiences. And even that will tire us, And we will long to be back to the Start. Back to the Start of Something new.  

the mind is a strange thing, needing to be replenished every now and then with fresh sprinkles of hope and sparks of passion in order to survive. bleak hopelessness overpowers souls with every passing wave of time. I have become a grave of my once youthful energetic self- there was a time when I felt invincible, overflowing with ideas and illusions of how I would shine. and now all that is left are doubts. strangers look to me, polite smiles in place, and ask about life plans and goals. I fear my own answer, and have chosen the path of 'figuring out life' with a silly smile to numb the overwhelming feeling of failure. time races past my struggling self, with each passing tide I struggle to make sense of all that I am and all that I wish to be. there's still a flickering warmth inside, awakened once a while by well wishers who see me as more that what I seem, they once saw the light in me, and even now strain their eyes to catch a glimpse again. I flip t...

This Dussehra/ Durga Puja break found me, with my mother and two friends in the city of Agartala to visit my dad's friend's parents. The visit left quite an impression on me, inducing me to type furiously on this fine wintery Sunday morning. This trip had been long due. They had made my mother promise to visit them atleast once. And while we youngsters were not keen on a place like Agartala for a break, finally the stars aligned for it all to happen, and how glad am I that it did. The sight of them at the airport, tears in their eyes as they waved goodbye left a choke in my throat, tears threatening to well up. Their loneliness and readiness to accept us all as their own leaves me with a rather strong sense of frustration. It just seems so wrong, that in the pursuit of all there is in the world, their kin has left them in an isolated house near the airport to fend for themselves. At some point my mother remarked to them how amazing it was that their kids were so accomplish...

"I am convinced that the deepest desire within each of us is to be  liberated from the controlling influences of our own psychic madness or patterns of fear.  All other things—the disdain of ordinary life, the need to control  others rather than be controlled, the craving for material goods as a  means of security and protection against the winds of chaos—are  external props that serve as substitutes for the real battle, which is  the one waged within the individual soul."  -  Caroline Myss Reading quotes posted by artsy pages on Facebook have a way of awakening the sleeping thinker within, and shaking up its befuddled state. As we go about our passing lives, dodging obstacles and often succumbing to our mortal weaknesses, we pause once a while, and look up- we question our very existence and the causes for the actions we take and the actions others take connected to us. What I am writing at this moment may have nothing to do wit...

I hate confrontation of any kind. I dread that feeling of anger and resentment towards someone, and the ensuing yell-contests. I hate cold wars, and the awkwardness they bring. If I had my way, everybody would co-exist peacefully and amicably. After decades (two and a half to be precise) of being in the crossfire of wars, and sometimes being a warring party (an oxymoron!), I have come to the realization that the root cause of all these battles is ego. Damn Ego, causes rifts in the deepest of friendships. Ego is that little voice in your head that goes- Don't let her/him get her/his way, Make him/her feel the wrath of your anger, Let her/him realize his/her folly in bringing you down. That's the thing about ego- it convinces you in that moment, that this battle is essential for your whole existence; that you need to win this argument to live a happily ever after sort of a life. What is so hard about apologizing, of calling a truce? Why does Ego have to be such a stiff basta...

This world tires me, with all its bullshit about optimism and passion, and the need for chasing one's dreams. The world's manuals rant about how the universe conspires to give us what we want and how we are all special and we are here for a reason and blah blah blah. And yet, there are many like me, filled to the brim with doubts. No answers, only questions. Many, seduced by the colourful hues of hope and the invincibility of dreams, often forget how harsh this rainbow-shitting world can be. How it is only one in every hundred dreams that is fulfilled. The remaining ninety nine turn to dust, floating around, wishing to be heard; brushed off from trophies and laurels that grace the abodes of the victors. The truth of the matter is- no one gives a crap about the zillion tea sellers in India, and when a man comes to power claiming to be an ex-tea seller, the world's never diminishing ego swells- they scream themselves hoarse- "Look here, see what we did- we made a tea...