In dodo's head

That's how I felt after the public speaking session yesterday.. Seriously. Nothing feels as great as when you do something to conquer the fear you have of something.

Life is all about facing our fears, of confronting our weaknesses and proving to those who think we can't that we indeed can. Yes, you might be thinking exactly what I think whenever I hear people say such things. Easy to say, so difficult to do. Thinking of this takes me back to my school days, so long gone and yet its memories as fresh as though it just happened yesterday. I am terrified of two things in this world. Public speaking and moths (or any kind of insect for that matter). Throughout my school years, I managed to dodge past any opportunity to speak on stage under one pretext or the other. 7 years sped past me, and I managed to live through it all safe and unembarrassed, except for one or two awkward moments in class. And then it was in my last year in school that Mrs Datta, the Vice Principal herself ensured that I could not shy away(pun intended!) from speaking in front of 600 people on Independence Day. Almost ironical, is it not.. I still remember the unease I felt ...

The world has its ways of making people feel small, almost insignificant. We set out to do something, may even manage to do it, and look up in pride and joy wishing to be appreciated and Bam!, we see someone else's work, so much better, prettier, artistic.. It makes us feel small all over again. My father always told me, "Envy is the worst emotion. Never envy someone." But this jealousy and envy that sometimes rises like a tide deep inside won't go easily. There is an inextinguishable thirst in me to do something no one else has, to take a picture which speaks more than just a thousand words, to write a piece which sums up the answer to questions of the world, to get top grades in my class, to prove myself to the world. And each time someone else does it, I feel an uncontrollable twang of pain, guilt, a feeling of 'if-only'.. I know we are meant to appreciate the good things in the world, in fact I do, but I always find myself wishing I had done something, tha...

Hello world. Cliche as it may sound, sometimes a picture does speak a thousand words and in my opinion, even more than just a thousand sometimes. If only I could submit about 4 pictures for my assignment essays. Anyway this one was taken by me (yes, this lady's other passion is photography) in a place called St Helens near Manchester. The lone man looking out to the shimmering water echoes the almost machine-like churning of thoughts in my mind as I look out into this somewhat shimmering, sometimes suffocating world.

Isn't it strange how Man has changed over the years. From living like apes, hunting berries, wearing animal fur and living in caves to advanced almost machine-like beings all programmed to prove something to the world. All thirsty for name and fame. And as if this ambition was not enough, there is love and loyalty to ponder over. Life has become just so complicated, just so mechanic. We are born, we are buried behind books all through the innocent days of childhood, then we have to work and earn, look after our family and then die. And if that was not tragic enough, we have to balance all this with the pressure of not dying a lonely soul. We have got to meet people and laugh over their sad jokes. The mundane cycle of life, that goes on and on. I am sorry readers. Just having one of those days when nothing makes sense, and everything seems so futile. :P

These dreams do not die.. No matter how much people trample on them. No matter how many times they tell me how fruitless it is. No matter how the voices in my head tell me to give up. Something inside, like a flickering flame, sometimes burning bright, sometimes almost extinguished, Tells me to march on, To not listen to the ones who speak out aloud, And listen to the one small voice in the heart, That whispers, Give it one more try, Give it one more push, Give it time to grow, And all your dreams will be true.

Hello world, It seems I got the quote all wrong in my last post. And apologies for that..

Some wise soul once said, " Lord, give me the strength to change what I can, give me the strength to resist what I cannot change and give me the wisdom to understand the difference between the two." And I am learning to accept this to be the ultimate truth, though I feel instead of resisting the things we cannot change, it is still wiser to just accept it. In life, we go about thinking ourselves much weaker and even more stronger than we really are. And we refuse to accept things staring at us in the face. I believe life would be much simpler if we just accepted things as they were. Lesser wars would have been fought had men learned to let go of their ego sometimes and just given up the moment they realised it was pointless. I guess all this thought stream in my head is a result of the book I am currently reading (Bird Song by Sebastian Faulks). Wars have been so bloody, so many lives have been lost or irreparably damaged and yet men did not give up, in the name of nationho...

There is so much pessimism in this world, so much hatred and animosity, too many critics, too many cynics.. too many of those who have stopped believing in humanity and love. I believe, This world has much more to give, People have much more love for others in them than believed, There is a little good in everyone, Hatred is usually caused by misunderstandings, Things can be made right, We can all make a change to the world, We are not alone in our ideals and beliefs, There is someone out there who thinks the same, We do not have to be dreamers to come up with big masterpieces to change the world, Tiny simple ideas shaped together can make all the difference. :)

Have you ever had a moment when you felt happy, just plain happy, for no reason at all? No, you did not win a lottery, you are knee deep in assignments and work, you have months to go before you get to go home, and yet you are just happy? On just another Sunday morning, with a laptop on your lap? And no, it's not even Christmas, or your birthday? Just happy to be alive, to have the friends and family that you do? Well, surprise!! That's what I am feeling now. Outside the world goes on, in Piccadilly, the crowd must be rushing on, not stopping to look at the very rare sunny Manchester sky, or admiring the glittery glass Beetham tower. And here I am in my room, munching Nice biscuits and smiling to myself. Happy. To be alive.

Have you ever had one of those days, when the world begins to make sense in some way, when you feel like you finally know the purpose of life, when you want to burst into song and dance all because the clouds of confusion and anxiety all vanished into thin air and all that remains is a clear blue sky? Well, yesterday was one of those days. The beauty of such days is that they are rare. And that they somehow make us so thankful for being born, and to have the people we have around us. It is only in such times that we realise how we should not take things for granted, and appreciate those who make it possible for us to let go and dream. Those who fulfil all the tiny wishes of ours just so that we can smile and be happy. Those who sacrifice their normal lives just so that the family has enough to live on and their children can have the best of everything (I am sure the person knows what I am talking about here). Those whose hugs make us feel so safe and warm inside and who make us feel s...