In dodo's head

Woke up today to the usual grey sky I am growing accustomed to. The snow had all melted away, like it never even graced the Manchester horizon. And like the sky and the damp grounds, I too continue to be in a sour and bleak mood. Might have something to do with the fact that my personal statement is not shaping up to be what I want. A frustrating ordeal. Made me realise all over again, how we are all puppets, wanting to be recognised for what we are, for the things we are good at, for our strengths and weaknesses. We struggle with our daily chores, we face our fears and insecurities, and yet we want the world to think us to be something more. The human mind continues to baffle me, with its many layers and levels.

Another day has passed, almost doing anything notable. My father's words echo in my head- "Do something useful. Learn a language, do anything". I know what he said is true. I should heed it. It is my fear, well one of my many fears, you know, that I will wake up on the last day of my life realising that I have all these things I want to do, but which I have not. And that too, all because I was too lazy to embark on life's journey. Yes that's what it feels like. Like I am standing in a port, my ship waiting to take me places, and yet I am hesitant to step on board...  In my head I have several dreams. For one, I would like to own a dog. Yes, I know, I already own one. Whom unfortunately I have distanced myself from over the years. Simply because she has become a big girl and now I am scared she might sink her fangs into my flesh.. :P Yes physical distance (due to education) does that to relationships sometimes. So I therefore want to own a dog, by myself, in the...

It has indeed been a while. What has changed since my last post has been the start of holidays. These days, life goes on in auto-pilot mode. There are no lectures to rush to, no homework to complete before the break of dawn, all there is really is a long icy road. Precaution is needed in order not to skid recklessly into the pile of examinations that await on the other side. One needs to tread softly, preparing as one walks on, for these tests of life. Which ideally should not matter more than life itself, but which we have given so much importance that they have become the very hurdles that must be crossed in order to lead a life respected by others. Alas, what can we do for we are We are prisoners of our own device. So we march on, through the chills and thrills. :) Have a great christmas everyone... My new favourite christmas song. (Click here to have a listen)

Beauty can neither be tarnished by the rain or the clouds. Such was my impression when I first saw the Halong Bay. It was a rainy day, the kind of rain one sees only in Vietnam, and we were soaked to our skins. And yet our spirits couldn't be lowered by the fact that we saw a side of halong bay not seen in tourist brochures and travel guides. In fact later I took it to be a blessing in disguise.. The islands usually jutting out from the sea were screened off by clouds and encounters with them possible only when we went closer to it in our rickety cheap travel boats. Each had its own unique identity, each had its own characteristics.. My memory fails me in remembering their names but I remember the cheerful guide telling me there were some 500 of them, one of which was named 'Fighting cocks'. It was almost surreal, cruising through some of the caves and one particular memory I still have with me is that of the Cave tour, where the guide pointed out...

 Hmm.. according to a personality test, I am ENTP.. (or something like that..)- which apparently stands for Dominant Extraverted Intuitive Types.. adds to confusion.. or not? :P Words, ideas and possibilities spew effortlessly from them. Words are their best friends. They dance around ideas, the more, the merrier. Imaginative, spontaneous, original and enthusiastic, they have a knack for seeing other possibilities, other dreams and options. The world is never as it is but as it could be, as if it were but an artists sketch begging for colour. They initiate change and often are prone to trespassing a few known boundaries to take themselves and others where no one has been before. The status quo tends to lack inspiration. When inspired, they are fearless and tireless. Their energy will know no limits unless red tape takes over. Routine drags them down. Their faith in possibilities and belief in the benefit of change often inspire others to follow. They are challenging...

From a distance, it is a fairytale. Bountiful of cheers and laughter. Of only good fortunes and luck. But look in, peep in through the tainted window and see what it really is. And the tiny cracks are exposed. From the outside, what looks like a grinning smile has with it a teardrop at the side of the eye. We learn it the hard way, the way which crashes us so many times we lose count, that life isn't perfect. Nobody's is. We learn to pick ourselves up, to devise new game plans to get us through the days, the weeks , the months and the years. There are times when the curtains fall down on us, sooner than we expected, and so we perform cautiously, ensuring that we have enough emotions left in us, for one good performance . Sometimes we need other actors to empathise with us, to run the lines with us, to get the customary hug.. and sometime we want to be alone, to be strengthened by our loneliness. Sometime hope is what gets us through, and sometimes hope is what lets us down. And...